To the guy I will never have…

Seeing you right now with someone else ripped my heart into pieces. You have finally found the one and that only means one thing to me. I have lost my chance of a happy ending with you. It is so ridiculous to feel this way. I absolutely have no right to be hurt. How could this be when you don’t even know I ever exist? To you I might be just one of your million fans waiting to be noticed but to me you are that very guy who will be in my heart forever.

I have watched you from a far and silently admire how your dinky eyes smile. How you speak your mind with conviction. How you courageously influence others to be a better version of their selves. How you passionately strive to be the man you always wanted to be.  That is how you broke the walls I have built to keep my heart safe.

Although I am aware of the little chance for you and I to be friends it did not stop me from even hoping that someday there will be you and me against the world. Crazy I know, but fate has a twisted sense of humor too so who knows?

Then you met her. From there everything had changed. The idea of an “us” in the future became very blurry. The “what seem to be possible “ became clearly impossible to me. As your lovestory unfolds I have witnessed your transformation too. How she bring out the best in you in every little thing you do. I even saw how you looked at her as if she’s the most beautiful thing your eyes had laid upon.

And now, the end has come. You are finally taking the road of forever with her. It sucks to just let go without putting up a good fight but there is no sense of holding on to that crazy stupid hope of our happy ending.

It is not just meant to be. We are not meant to be. Someday somehow I know someone will help me understand why we can’t be together in this lifetime. But since he has not come yet, I’d like to keep you behind these love letters written for you with a silent wish that maybe in another life, “you and I” will no longer be a lie. ♥

Sincerely,

the girl behind the curtains

Born in Cebu, Philippines and a follower of Christ who loves to express her thoughts, ideas, emotions and beliefs through writing. A firm believer that words have power to make or break a person. She hopes to make a difference in someone else's life through her little work of art. She ain't a writer but she loves to write. And just like her, this blog is a work in progress.

2 Comments

  • Sarah Dawn

    You just have to wait for God’s version of him to step into your life. Maybe waiting could be a bit daunting be Jer 29:11 still holds true through the end of times. Stay in His love.. ?

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